Laura Nowlin's novel If He Had Been With Me encompasses themes of friendship, betrayal, love,
and the miserable fact of loss. This book is one I have read many times that will always result in a
sinking feeling once I get to the end. The story focuses on Autumn and Phineas, better known as Finn,
through their time in high school with flashbacks and memories of their younger years.
Autumn and Finn used to be glued to the hip, inseparable. They were sort of fated to be friends
in a way, their mothers were best friends, they grew up as next-door neighbors, and they were the same
age, even sharing a birthday. As they entered high school, this perfect friendship dissolved into
awkward waves in the hallway, and eventually ignorance of the other. Finn and Autumn each joined their
cliques and had a sort of obligation to remain loyal to them. Autumn was an awkward outcast and Finn was
the popular boy that everyone wanted to be around. In this story, you get a first-person understanding
of Autumn's feelings about Finn, her friends, her boyfriend, and other things as it is narrated by her.
An untimely accident interrupts the tranquil rhythm of Autumn and Finn's evolving relationship and
reminds the readers that life can truly change in an instant and that we should cherish every moment we
have with the people we love.
What I love about this book is how compelling it is to keep reading. Although it's not a book
that makes your heart beat out of apprehension, the need to know what’s going to happen next is almost
irresistible and makes it impossible to tear your hands away from the pages. I got so hooked that I
finished the entire book in one day. I would say you have to like a specific type of book to enjoy this
read. Although it’s one of my personal favorites I can acknowledge that it's not a phenomenally written
book. It’s very realistic in the sense that it encompasses high school language choices and actions, but
it’s not crafted with linguistic elegance and you don’t gain any intellectual stimulation from this
read.
Overall I would rate this book a 7/10, I think this book has been a bit over-hyped on social
media. If I know you like a bitter-sweet high school romance I’ll recommend this to you in a heartbeat
but if you’re someone who prefers to gain something intellectually from a read I would shy you away from
this book. I think my age recommendation from this book would be anywhere from 12 and onwards but it
does depend on the person. There are mentions of sex and one scene involving it, but nothing overly
graphic. Besides that, there are some mentions of underage drinking, substance use, and mature language,
which could be inappropriate for younger children/ teens depending on their maturity and/ or comfort
with these topics.
Laura Nowlin's novel If he had been with me is a sad, gut-wrenching novel that will cause
readers to go from ecstasy to an absolute grief-stricken state by the final pages. It’s a beautifully
realistic high school experience navigating the highs and lows of human relationships whether they may
be friendship, love, or even family. Nowlin does a great job introducing in-depth characters and making
you feel as if you know them. Her novel prompts readers to contemplate how delicate life can be and how
quickly it can change.
